Love in the Big City (2024)

intense and lovely

What a beautiful drama, full of emotions, friendships and super real cases, the beginning was beautiful and the ending was sad but necessary.

It was an incredible drama where we can see the evils and wonders that love/relationships can bring us.

I highly recommend this drama and it is certainly one of the best of the year without a doubt.

Think about a good performance, Nam Yoon Su and the entire cast presented a very refreshing drama with correct performances from beginning to end, it's great to be able to see something where the actor didn't show any fear at a certain point in the story, in addition to talking about several important issues.

Korea always gets it right and this is one of the big hits, a drama of this quality where despite boycotts from conservatives it never lowered its head, a great attitude that was quite worth it.

I loved it so much.

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Why does no one ever have the courage untill it is too late!

A heartbreaking and yet beautiful tale of flawed people. Also, a stunning gay-themed show from Korea after a rather long time.

The story meanders through Ko Yeong's life and struggles as he goes from one love interest to other, failing the first one, love-hating the second, and loosing the last one, which ultimately makes him find himself in ways....

If you are a gay man (or even a woman) growing up or living in a big city in Asia, you'd find so many characters that will seem familiar...the story, while depending on some of the usual cliches of gay-besties gang (girl gang) and that hallowed chosen family support, does deliver a rather realistic and relatable story of a sort-of-closeted gay man from a conservative family, weighed down by the pressures of being the good son, the fabulous gay man, and also living that 'I dont give a shit bitch-will have fun' big city life, while pining for love that feels like home....all at the same time.

Yeong abandons the first one that loves him dearly, Kim, the most dedicated and stable one, because he isn't cool enough...(haven't we seen that happen like every other day in the gay dating scene!!).....fast forward the next one he falls for, No Yeong is, no surprises, the emotionally unavailable one, deep into the closet, with several unresolved issues and baggage...which expectedly, can only end in a traumatic way, and it does (again, a story that we see happen all around)....fast forward.....Yeong grows some....and then comes Gyu Ho, the real deal, the one he loves and the one who loves him back, the way he is...and I thought Yeong's confession about his being HIV+ to Gyu Ho was plain beautiful....the vulnerability, emotions, and desperation is portrayed so beautifully....but off course feeling loved as your authentic self is the most difficult and scary thing there is, right? The fear of losing makes us leave them before they do....but here the story is slightly less predictable, Yeong and Gyu really understand how strong their love is, and really try to work things out...but the fear.....THE FEAR...never goes away.....and that makes Yeong almost force separate from Gyu Ho.....in other words, he runs away from that one love that made him feel like he's safe and home.

The story, delves deep into the layers and nuances of a queer life...there is the obvious references to homophobia, struggles of living with HIV, the trauma of enforced closets and dual lives, the lack of love, care, safety and often betrayal by family, the contempt from society, and how religious dogma can turn people into monsters,...and then the beauty of finding support and love from your chosen family and finding a space that you can belong to.....it takes you through many a familiar feeling that is validating in ways.....at the same time it flags the lack of courage to accept ourselves and all others around us, as their everyday, non-glamorous, non-thrilling selves that is ...it definitely touches upon the all-too-familiar pressures of having that perfect and fabulous relationship, reaching the pinnacles of unrealistic standards of 'romance-that stuns and outdoes everyone'......and how the everyday mundane comfort around each other, the snoring, the stains that stay, and the 'don't have mind-blowing sex most of the time' familiarity, end up being no match for that....that is, until you find the courage to be just yourself, warts and all, and find beauty and comfort in it....find the courage to allow yourself to love and be loved with all your flaws, failing, and shadows........but, by that time, it is usually too late...or is it??

The series has a bit of an open ending, which one can interpret the way they want ...with a passing allusion to the possibility of Gyu Ho coming back to Seoul, hope floats.....just may be, Yeong moves out of his old apartment and moves into a new one...it ends as fireworks light up the sky, with Yeong and his gay-gang, seemingly happy celebrating their own selves....

But the question lingers, why does no one ever have the courage until it is too late!

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This show kept me on the edge of my sit all through, it was such an interesting and realistic watch... I really couldn't get enough, I cried, I laughed then I cried some more, literally one of the best queer movies out there, hopefully we get a season two sometime in the future because the chemistry of the main character with all his love interests were superb, then his friendship.... AMAZING 😍, friends like that are truly a reason to live. I immersed myself in the whole drama, now I'm done, I have no idea what to do with myself again... Guess it's time to rewatch

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A Realistic, Raw Story

I genuinely loved watching this series so much! I've watched many BL series, but this one has made its way up to my top 3 for sure. I've never been so immersed and related to a series as much as I have this one. There is just so much this 8 episode series unpacked with just the right pace; nothing felt too fast or too slow. The scenes were depicted beautifully too, they lingered for long enough for the viewer to almost feel as if they are in the scene with the character themselves. Genuinely, every scene felt so raw and vulnerable through the lingering scenes. Just so, so perfect. Through the heartbreaking moments, which I was devastated on by the way, I could feel why the characters responded in the ways that they did. The series actually deserves to win so many awards, and the actors did such an incredible job at playing every character with so much sincerity. I fucking love the entire cast and their dedication to their roles to deliver such an amazing series portraying such a raw and real side of being a queer person in this world through so many themes. I'm planning on rewatching it soon again, I'm definitely going to need a new box of tissues.

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When Love Lingers in His Touch

To start it off, Love was, in fact, NOT in the Big City of Seoul.
Just kidding. It was indeed found in yourself.


Cliche as it may sound, the series really tackles and hits you with the reality of how queer people survive in a place that lacks the progress of LGBTQ+ awareness. It isn't just the portrayal of Go Yeong's journey through finding love; it's the representation it has shown that many could relate to. I might not want to watch this again, for seeing Go Yeong's journey made me reflect about the definition of love. It hurts, it really does, and no matter how much you want to avoid it, there is no escape from the pain that love could put you through.

Expectations, in many cases, would always yield the result you wouldn't want to face the most. It is painful, and with that pain, can you really ensure you are able to heal from it? Will the trauma of past loves come haunting on you, creeping on you with guilt and consequences you don't even want to face? It's hard to be in love and even when you are in love, there are doubts, there are uncertainties, there are numb days, monotonous days that would repeat over and over until you want it to end. Is it the end though? When you don't feel the warmness of your partner for how long, can you even consider it love? When arguments begins to rekindle and the scenario replays again and again, only for it to be left unresolved and unspoken? Is that love? Would you want to experience that kind of love?

In the end, you would only find the bits and pieces of the emotions you have felt throughout your relationship. The good things would want you to keep coming back for more, even from other people. You drown in the negative side of love, only for it to haunt you back when you least expect it to. His touch, the pleasure, the sweetness you always crave—is it worth it? For you to lose yourself, only to always find yourself running away from the truth. The truth that you may not even want to face the truth that you might be the problem.

Yourself becomes the problem, and even you don't want to accept that. Unless you face the biggest enemy, that is when you could truly say you are free. You accept that sometimes love is not about the pleasures of it, the happiness you get from it, but rather you understanding yourself. When the lingering taste of love comes back to you, you have to face it that it will always linger and, most of the time, it is impossible for it to comeback.

Learn to love yourself, and then, just then, you might be able to love someone else.

PS: I left a very important detail so that readers wouldn't be spoiled.

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Go Young's Tragic Autobiography

The best way to describe this show is snapshots of our main character Go Young's (Nam Yoonsu) life. We first meet him in college, where his queerness makes him a loner. This doesn't stop his pursuit of love, but not all romantic encounters are created equal. Go Young finds again and again that love requires not just the right person, but also the right circumstances. In his quest to figure out what love looks like and how to make relationships work, we see him continue to get his heart broken, both by his own faults and his partners'.

I think what really sold me on this show was the way it was done. It felt like it was being told as if Go Young had written his own autobiography, where he emphasized what he found important and left out the details that seemed too mundane. We get glimpses into his life and his relationships, without ever getting to see his day-to-day life. What happens in an episode may be a few weeks or a year, depending on how important the events felt to Go Young himself. Each relationship he enters presents new challenges, and unable to navigate them, Go Young continues to feel tired and alone. I did not expect such depth of issues on queerness coming from a Kdrama, and it was done beautifully. The issues were never taken lightly or laughed at, and the relationships were portrayed in such a realistic way that it truly felt like this could be someone's autobiography. It was unfortunately sadder than I had anticipated, and the realism just emphasized the tragedy, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

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Chasing the thrill, hoping for love, self-sabotaging

Two episodes in I wasn’t sure if I could share everyone’s excitement about this series. I’ve seen people talking about it as this great breakthrough, a masterpiece, a game changer, and while I acknowledged how having a mainstream actor play a gay character and having actual national funding for a BL show was changing the landscape for kdramas. However, from a perspective of just a regular viewer, who ultimately expects to experience a good piece of televised fiction, I wasn’t really convinced.

Sure, the drama was well-produced, the acting was solid, I couldn’t really complain much about the story progression, as it felt pretty unforced. And yet, I couldn’t really resonate emotionally with the characters. Being it Go Young or his female friend Choi Mi Ae. I attributed it to the style of the story and the manner it was told. Time jumps, skipping important moments when people develop connections, not witnessing how they get closer or grow apart – it all made it difficult for me to develop an emotional connection with the characters as well.

It all changed around episode 3 or 4, e.i. during No Yeong Su and Go Young’s dating era. Their final encounter, during which Go Young ends up punching his (then already an ex) boyfriend was the turning point for me, the moment when I actually felt something (before I did tear up a bit when Go Young and Mi Ae reconnected, but this scene in the restaurant hit me waaay stronger). The look on Yeong Su’s face expressing both self-disdain and resignation really got me. Since then, I’d become more and more invested within every episode, getting used to the report-like narration and time jumps that stopped hindering my ability to immerse myself within a story and became just another tool to highlight its realism. From that moment onward, I did feel like I was given glimpses into different stages of Go Young’s life.

I loved the development of Go Young’s relationship with his mom and her gradual, quiet acceptance of his sexual orientation towards the end of her life. I started understanding Go Young more, noticing how he craves for love, but self-sabotages himself at the same time. That was a big theme for me in this drama, that’s how I saw it. Go Young is chasing love, but at the same time is not allowing it to happen. Affected by having to live with “Kyle”, being cheated on by a boyfriend who gave it to him, and a traumatising childhood experience of his father leading a double life all rendered him wanting love, but not really believing he deserves it.

Nam Gyu is too boring and clingy, so Go Young discards him in a pretty brutal, emotionless way. Then he gets himself entangled in a toxic relation with Yeong Su – a guy who pretty quickly starts to look like a red flag. Go Young clings to him almost in a similar manner like Nam Gyu clung to him before. Why? Partially probably because he was clearly very physically attracted to the guy and Yeong Su had a way to make a person feel like crap, just to throw them a bone from time to time, in order to keep them invested. But my take on it is that, because Yeong Su was never truly attainable, Go Young would end up trying harder. If Yeong Su actually got invested in their relationship 100% and dealt with his internalized homophobia, I’d wager Go Young would probably want out.

Finally, he meets Gyu Ho – probably the strongest candidate for a life-long partner. And yet he lets him go, despite two of them somehow managing to stay together, dealing with the challenges of every day life, its mundane aspects and gradual boredom that sets in their relationship. The relationship with Gyu Ho, while exposing Go Young’s somewhat immature idea of what love should be (a constant source of excitement), was still – in the end – the most mature one. Go Young and Gyu Ho try to resolve their issues, they attempt the rekindle the spark by going to Bangkok, and both work hard on studying Chinese in hope of moving to Shanghai together. And yet, in the end, Go Young sends Gyu Ho off alone, with a “blessing” to date other people. Once again sabotaging his chance for true love.

He doesn’t realize his mistake only until much later. But if they had a chance to have another go at their relationship, I’m not sure if he'd approach it differently. What happens after Gyo Ho’s departure, the ending to a "Habibi arch", the symbolic moving to a new place (as opposed to living in Mi Ae’s old apartment – which was highlighted in Go Young’s dream in one of the earlier episodes as mirroring him being stuck in life, with no clear direction) gives some hope, I suppose?

What originally started as a story of Seoul party goers who don’t always make the most responsible life decisions, eventually turned into quite a deep portrayal of a scarred individual, who tries to navigate his life amidst all the challenges it throws at him. I ended up really enjoying the experience and can understand why this show got so much hype.

There is so much more to say about this drama and more layers to uncover, whether it's Mi Ae's 180 turn in her life attitude not long after getting an abortion, Yeong Su's extreme way of dealing with his sexuality, or Go Young's self-destructive behaviour after receiving gifts from his father. It definitely is one of these shows that leave an audience with a lot of "food for brain". To me, personally, next to The On1y One, it's the best BL drama I've watched (I'm aware not everyone considers it a BL) and also one of the best kdramas.

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Actually Idk what should I give title to this review but just read it. This series is not the topical bl or bromance series. This series talks about the true struggle of being gay and tell us how hard it is to find a true love.

Alert 🚨 this series is not for soft hearted people cause this series talks about the things that many homosexuals may not prepare to say or show to others. I'm a gay, even I had a feeling that I should stop being gay or become straight (ik it's not possible).

But truly speaking this series will hit you differently. It is something new to watch and can help to make some decisions in our own life.

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