Finally Found It Again After All These Years!

Watched this years ago and finally remembered the name of it only recently. I still remember how many emotions this series stirred up inside of me. I felt so deeply for this woman who lost her child, even though at the time I had never experienced that level of loss before. But I could identify with the loneliness and becoming a shell of a person.

I think this might have been the first drama themed k-drama I ever watched. Prior to this I had only viewed the teen and YA Korean rom-coms. I went to watch it again after finding it on MDL and I think the production value still holds up. The acting is really strong and the story is still impactful.

I remember the year I watched this was the year after my youngest sister was born and I was obsessed with saying, “Bok Nyeo-nim shiro” and “Krom”. My younger sister would follow me around the house saying, “NimNim”. She’s ten years old now and whenever I turn to her and say “Krom”, to excuse myself; she puts her hands together like a robot and says, “Krom” back to me like she’s saying, “permission granted”. I love it because it’s one of the things that we bonded over. This and using other tv/movie references in our daily lives.

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You Need To See This

This is one of those dramas that will stay with me. It’s very emotionally heavy (lots of emotions bubbling underneath the surface) and it’s these volatile emotions that lead to quite graphic scenes of violence that may make viewers uncomfortable but I think it’s dramas like this one that needs to be viewed so that those emotions can sit with you. It’s important to feel these emotions vicariously (which you do - very much so) and recognise where they are coming from. They should resonate with you, as it’s a hard look at how people become this way.

This drama was very illustrative, with the three main leads representing how someone can end up so far down a certain path. Each character is at different stages of that path. Soo Ho could have easily used his skills to become a school bully and give in to baser instincts but he doesn’t. Even when he has issues with Boem Seok he makes sure not to cross the line. He is someone who knows when to stop. Shi Eun is someone who was headed down the wrong path and about to give in to all his (understandable) anger and pent up frustration. I could feel him holding back in the earlier episodes. The tension was so thick and heavy, at times it felt suffocating so I can only imagine how much Shi Eun was being stifled by it. You can drown in those kinds of emotions and life circumstances where you feel like the boot is constantly on your neck. All that anger and resentment just to be greeted with more of the same each day. No wonder people in these circumstances flip out and rain down hell in a violent outburst when it finally breaks them and the anger comes spilling out.

Thankfully, Shi Eun was brought back from the brink before he went too far. He had someone like Soo Ho to pull him away from the edge and most importantly, Shi Eun was receptive to his help/intervention. This is where Boem Seok differs. The writers, director and most importantly; the actor, did a great job of showing the similarities and parallels between Shi Eun and Boem Seok’s characters and then showed how unlike Shi Eun, Boem Seok allowed himself to go to the brink. Unlike Shi Eun, he did not heed the warnings to stop before he was too far gone. And while he was justified in his anger and needing remedy for his pain; he crossed the line and became a victim who victimises.

What’s even more resonant is seeing how Boem Seok’s actions also drags Shi Eun past the brink as he loses it at the end and gives in to his pent up anger, frustration and resentment. Watching him in the second half of the finale, I felt so exhausted and emotionally drained. He looked tired, empty and like he had just returned from war, a shell of a person. This is the outcome when people are pushed too far. This is how someone loses the light behind their eyes.

The actors portray the complex states of emotions expertly. If you want to see characters who are real shades of grey; this is a drama that is a great illustration of that in the most harrowing way. You will not be disappointed.

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Highly Recommend To All

The really good parts of this series, I loved wholeheartedly. I found it funny and devastating and supernatural and uplifting. Even though most of the supporting characters show up for a short time, their performances are no less compelling and touching as the main characters’ performances. I really liked that the anthology style of each ‘case’ works on their own individually but also ties in together with the main story.

The reason why it’s an 8.5 and not a 9 for me is because from one minute to the next I was either extremely riveted or slightly bored (there was no in between). The riveting bits were really riveting and engaging. If I could suggest one thing to make it better, it would be for them to tighten up the narrative a bit.

There were also plot points that kinda went nowhere but these were small plot points. I don’t know if this was a translation issue or an issue with the series itself. For example, they drew attention to something the boss’ male employee said that was ‘off’ in that school girl with the clips case but they never expounded on that or did anything with it. So, that part felt unfinished and like they dropped that part of the story.

I can’t stress enough though, that this is a really good watch and I’d highly recommend it. It gets you in the feels in all the best and most devastating ways. Like everyone else, I’m praying for a series 2.

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If You Accept That All The Characters Are Kinda Terrible It’s Mildly Entertaining

After watching this series, I wouldn’t rate it lower than a 5.5. I’d give it a 6 and that’s because the timeline is all over the place and the acting is a little below average. The NC scenes also weren’t giving. They just made me laugh out loud. As for the rest, as much as I have a bias against cheating being portrayed as something for people to just get over and as inevitable; I didn’t get to dwell on this because I was so preoccupied with trying to follow the storyline/timeline. Each episode was waaaay too long and overall was 8 episodes too many.

This series is somewhat what I wanted Only Friends to be. A bl that is filled with only terrible, debauched characters that you can watch with fascination without feeling sorry for ANY of them. Of course, Only Friends has miles better production value and writing but the problem arises when they try to paint these types of characters as people to root for. Just once, I want a series that embraces the shitty-ness of people and is self aware in that regard. I’ve always thought this would be a fascinating concept to watch unfold onscreen where every character is self-indulgent and only thinks of themselves and their wants. Where no characters are redeemed and there is no pretence of them being decent people.

The ‘messiness’ of the characters is what turns viewers off the most from this series but I found it entertaining in a morbid fascination kinda way. Like watching a couple fight on the street or like watching a wildlife documentary. lol

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The Second Half Is Worth The Watch

This was one that surprised me. I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did. It was definitely a tale of two halves. It almost seemed like each half was created by two different directors as they were so contrasting in tone, style, depth and cinematography. I’ll be honest, if I had watched the first half only, this would have gone on my list of bls that I watched and never thought of again. But the second half packed a punch. It’s the better half. It’s tragically beautiful and I’m so surprised I came away feeling hopeful, despite the bitter and painful things unfolding on screen. There was so much beauty in the relationship between the lead and the mother of his dead partner. So much beauty in uncovering that the dead partner truly loved him. So much beauty in the bonds forged through pain. I recommend this movie whenever I can because I don’t think many people watch it long enough to get to the second half - which is where it shines.

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Better Than Part One In Some Ways

In a lot of ways, this sequel is stronger than part 1, but there are also things that you can look past in part 1 that you cannot in this sequel. The highlight of the series for me was getting the insight into how Kiyoi feels about Hira by seeing things from his POV. I enjoyed seeing them in a relationship (something that we did not get to see in part 1).

Overall, I felt like progress was made in their relationship - transitioning slowly from the servant/master dynamic to a more rounded relationship with outwardly reciprocation of care and affection. The frustrations come from seeing how deeply rooted Hira is in his low value of himself and how that has caused him to become a ‘toxic observer’. He’s so content with just observing and serving that he doesn’t realise that by idolising Kiyoi and essentially not letting him past the barriers he’s put up for himself; that he’s hurting Kiyoi who is looking for something deeper and wants to be treated as a human and as his partner. What Hira is doing is a form of withholding and it can be just as hurtful and toxic as emotional abuse. I understand why he’s like this. It’s a form of self defence that he has developed throughout his life to protect himself but it’s no less frustrating to watch and no doubt painful and damaging to others because of how acutely unaware of it he is.

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This BL Does Well For What It Is - It’s Become An All Time Fave

What starts off as purely a servant/master dynamic, slowly develops into a genuine deep care for each other. When Hira looks into Kiyoi’s eyes you get a sense of why he’s able to fall so deep. The actor who plays Kiyoi has the most expressive eyes that swallow you up. And like the ying to his yang, Hira’s eyes are so piercing you feel like he really sees you when he looks at you. Its the feeling of having all his focus, love and admiration. That’s a powerful feeling. So much is conveyed in a single look so you can also understand why Kiyoi becomes attracted to Hira and falls for his piercing gaze, because Hira is someone who really sees him and is someone who appreciates him for the first time in his life without wanting anything back. You really buy into these two characters from different worlds. That they are able to fall in love with each other. It’s believable that they each get from one another, something that was missing before. It’s not perfect but I think it does a good job of balancing flawed characters who have toxic coping mechanisms and it does so with sincerity and honest emotions. Having good chemistry goes a long way to making these characters feel real and grounded. Their chemistry is one of the best I’ve seen in bl land. They have the perfect amount of tension that keeps you hooked until they finally get together. They’re two people who shouldn’t work on paper but they manage to carve out a space where they both fit together for each other.

In reality, I’d rate this an 8.6 but MDL doesn’t give that option.

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Beautiful Bittersweet

This one was such a beautifully heartbreaking story. The only criticism I would level at it is that with the ending reunion scene you don’t leave feeling as hopeful as you should. You can’t get away from the feeling that they lost something that they can never get back - the feeling of what might have been. The regret slightly overshadows everything and you leave feeling more bitter than sweet. It’s for this reason I cannot give it a 10/10. It’s a blemish on an otherwise magnificent bl. Like ITSAY, this series can stand up against any mainstream production. It’s another cinematic masterpiece. The young actors are able to convey so much - the angst, the fear, not knowing what you feel, not wanting to accept what you feel, the burden and the expectations, the flawed thinking of youth, the unfairness of the world, and the loss of something precious that can never be re-attained. If I could sum this series up into one phrase, it would be ‘an exhaled sigh’.

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My Thoughts on End Of the World With You:

Neither of the main characters are likeable. Ritsu is the worst but Matsumi is not much better. They are unlikeable in different ways. Ritsu is an awful person. He is the f*ck-boyest of all f*ck boys. Usually you either like a character, like to hate them or they are at least relatable. Neither of the characters are any of these things. They are just awful - to the point where you don’t care what happens to them. I’m not invested in anything they do, any hurt they feel or any hurt they do to others. This wouldn’t be a problem if the show didn’t keep trying to make you root for them. Nothing had the emotional impact needed. The only character I was rooting for was the meteor. And the fact that ‘that’ didn’t happen only makes this show that much worse.

It’s got a lot of very well executed nc scenes (probably some of the best in bl land), so you can watch it just for that and no hate to people who like it just for those. No hate either for the people who enjoyed the series. We all like different things. Each to their own and all that. I do think it does deserve an automatic 5 or 6 rating just for the production value, the plot (which is easy enough to follow) and the script (which is decent and the dialogue flows). It’s just everything else that it falls short on. They made the characters so unlikeable which affected the character development and drained all the heart and connection out of the story. Watching it feels really hollow as all I could think was, “I do not care for these people, I cannot warm to them even knowing they’re about to die. Why are you asking me to root for their survival??”

Matsumi had potential moments where I thought his character might become more likeable but as I said, he’s just awful (albeit in a different way to Ritsu). For example, there’s a scene where I guess the writers try to endear his character to the audience by making him ‘attempt’ to comfort a young boy. It was 6 parts tone deaf given the current situation and 4 parts hypocritical given how he’s been living his life. I kept thinking, “you’re in no position to be giving advice buddy, and have you looked outside lately?” As I said, it’s just hard to root for his character. There’s nothing that endears you to him.

That said, I think the worse thing about this series is that after watching everything on screen, the only take-away is that they will remain these awful people. I firmly believe that if the world was not ending or if the world didn’t end in the end they would revert to their same awful selves. I know writers can choose at the swoop of a pen, to make characters ‘live happily ever after’ but nothing onscreen suggests that these people have become better people and will stay together. I’m sure Ritsu would keep hurting Matsumi if the world doesn’t end. Case in point: Ritsu had remained the same person over the past decade and if you are inclined to believe he’s had some sort of awakening now due to the meteorite; it doesn’t explain why after meeting Matsumi again, he still manipulates him and still feels entitled to Matsumi’s time and presence. Brazen is the word that comes to mind. He is yet again using Matsumi exactly like he did ten years ago, which is to seduce Matsumi and use him for his own benefit. I sincerely believe that Ritsu likes Matsumi because Matsumi loves him. Even narcissists need love, even if they just feed off it. I’m never fully convinced that Ritsu grasps the depth of the damage he has done to Matsumi. He seems to centre himself and his feelings in every interaction with Matsumi, both in the past and even now. How can you truly be sorry if you’ve never taken the time to really self reflect on your actions, the damage you’ve caused and how the person you hurt might be feeling? It’s clear he hadn’t done so when you have scenes where a mutual friend had to point out to him that Matsumi might not want to see him. Scenes like in the library where he expected Matsumi to be ‘over it by now’. Sometimes understanding you’ve hurt someone is understanding that you shouldn’t ever show up in front of them again. Let alone force them to talk to you (even if it is the end of the world). The writers try to explain Ritsu’s shitty behaviour by adding that he’s su*cidal but even this feels self serving and like a throwaway explanation of why he is the way he is. There is no depth to this added plot point and just further establishes his selfishness (in contrast to the other character who followed through on her su*cidal ideation). His character being this way is not the issue. Not all characters are going to be decent people. I’m giving these examples to illustrate how little his character has actually changed from the start of the movie to the end. The issue is with the writers insulting the intelligence of the viewers and trying to gaslight them into accepting that Ritsu has had some sort of character development when that just doesn’t play out that way on screen.

I think the writers had a vision for these characters and their path to redemption and all that, unfortunately, they should have written better redemptive qualities into the characters for that to come across (It doesn’t). Instead they just remain awful characters that we’re supposed to pretend are the opposite and that’s what makes this series so awful.

Upon second viewing, there was something I could appreciate that I could not appreciate the first time around: the secondary characters make for a better story. Any emotional depth came from the relationship between the trans character and the young boy. The young boy was annoying at times but their characters are more aligned to what the story is telling you they are and are infinitely more interesting than the main characters. Their budding romance is endearing. I would gladly watch a series with the trans girl as the main character or watch a series that explores the ‘super’ abilities of the young boy. I thought that was really intriguing.
Also, in this second viewing I found everything more farcical. I could not take most of it seriously. Additionally, I didn’t notice it before but the main leads’ kisses are very awkward and fish-like. Matsumi always seems to be gulping for air like a fish out of water whenever he opens his mouth. Suffice to say, it held up even worse on second viewing.

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A Solid Drama

This drama is one of those k-dramas that is really great overall but is perhaps missing that something really, really special that makes it resonate below the surface and takes it from a great k-drama to an outstanding drama. Don’t get me wrong. This is a special drama in that it got a lot of things right. It’s more solid in execution than a lot of the k-dramas of late. You absolutely won’t regret watching it. The first couple of episodes were strong and I think it has the type of ending execution we’ve all been yelling for years that we really want (even though the non-romantic plot side was anti-climatic and wrapped up somewhat too easily for the amount of tension that was built). The middle and the very last episode were less polished but again, great overall.

For me personally, there are great dramas that don’t connect to me that deeply simply because I can see the actors playing the characters rather than just being immersed in the characters. This is not to say the acting isn’t solid. It is. However, this reminds me of when you go to see a play and although you can appreciate and are impressed by the seasoned acting, you can very much tell the actors are acting in a play. In order for me to connect to a drama on a deeper level, I need to not see the actor but only see the character. For this reason I can only say this drama is a solid drama that was executed well and deserves praise but I cannot say it is a drama that gripped me or will stay with me in any way. I admired the love and strength of the characters and what they went through but it was like watching actors in a drama and that’s it. Other less polished dramas have that really, really special something that gets you below the surface; that has so much heart you know you are experiencing something unlike others when you watch. For me, this is not such a drama (although great overall).

If I could, I would rate this an 8.7 as I think it’s higher than an 8.5.

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