Love in the Big City (2024)

another not my cup of tea

honestly i can't really remember which series are not my cup of tea but definitely this is one of them. it's not that i don't like it but i just can't really understand the whole story line. what's the point of go young's love life story, i simply don't really understand. it feels like i just follow along his life story without any exact outcome/summary. that's it. again, it's not that i don't like it, i enjoy every go young's love story, but i just feel like it can be elaborated more for the summary or main point of this series. my brain can't interpret that.

honestly it confused me at first because i don't know which one is the main lead beside nam yoo-su. it broke my heart when the second male, the photographer, died. then it confused me again and again because every man seem not to be the main lead, not until that nursing student. but yeah maybe the main point is that go young's love is now gone because of what he did. idk.

maybe will not rewatch it because it's on viki and i don't really have any subscription of platforms. so.. yeah. not my cup tea but still a good one.

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Never have I wanted to die more than right now

I finished the series 10 minutes ago. I'm a fucking wreck but let's do it.
I don't know what's going on with Korean BLs lately but they've been HITTING for some reason. First, The Eighth Sense, then Love for Love's Sake, and now this one?? Why does everyone want me to kms??? No but seriously, they're doing something that I don't quite see in other countries' BLs, like Thailand's, for example.
I'll say this: I've only cried twice watching a BL. The first, watching Last Twilight, and the second, watching this.

So. What I liked:

- It feels realistic, even though I hope there's no-one on this Earth as unlucky as the poor protagonist. He falls in love, breaks up, gets broken up with, has happy times and hits new lows every now and then. He has sex, he has friends, he has family issues, he can be compassionate but also an asshole. I love it. I love Go Young not as a character, but as a person that might exist in real life. I could see myself being friends with him.
- Surprisingly sex positive, especially for a KBL. Even Mi Ae sleeps around and it isn't treated as something shameful or wrong (though she still gets mocked for it). I also appreciated the representation of someone who has to live with HIV. I don't know if they consulted people who actually have it, but as a viewer it felt quite genuine.
- The characters are all lovely. I was sooo invested following Go Young, I loved his friends despite their limited screentime, and I ADORED Mi Ae while she was onscreen. There's hints at backstories, complex personalities, all interwoven to create very believable characters.
- The main couple was amazing, show-stopping, incredible--- I just don't know what to say. The portrayal of puppy love (or the honeymoon phase) was mesmerizing.
- The existential dread and the feeling of being lost, unwanted, unworthy, etc- was too well done for my taste. It hit too close to home at some points.

BUT--

- The time skips can fuck with your head sometimes, it can be hard to tell how much time has passed between different scenes. And because the series covers quite a lot of time, it can feel like things are going at breakneck speed, especially when Go Young is going through different boyfriends.
- I do agree with other reviewers that, outside of his mental dilemma and shame with HIV, he didn't really suffer any side-effects from having it in his day-to-day life.
- Well you can probably already tell but this series is fucking depressing. Everything that can go wrong in someone's life goes wrong for Go Young, and it's so hard to watch him suffer through it all: loss of relative to cancer, HIV, multiple breakups, lost friendships, toxic exes, dead exes, the whole nine yards. I honestly cried less at my grandfather's funeral (/j).

Still, the series is amazingly well done. And incredibly acted. It's one of those rare occurrences where you forget that you're watching a character, not a real person.
Just, maybe don't watch if you're single, in your early 20s and in the brink of an existential crisis. It doesn't really help, let's just say that.

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Passionate romance that heteros don't get

Most heterosexual plots simply don't get an exclusive passionate romantic plots like this one. They usually have a bunch of other things going on and a bit of romance thrown in. Not here. The focus is on the ML and his journey to discovering love and himself. And it does make me a tad envious because they really don't beat around the bush in Love in the Big City. They explore friendships which are mostly wholesome and endearing.

The show is not all roses and sunshine though. There are some dark topics explored. However, most of the show tries to be positive because the male lead is a cheerful individual making the best of difficult circumstances. Maybe even a little toxic positivity that can be frustrating or concerning for others around him at times.

The beginning few episodes were funny and enjoyable but somewhere towards the end, the show started to feel slow and dull. Not sure if that was intentional. Overall the characters and situations are mostly realistic.

I wasn't too happy about the way the series ended especially since the last 2 or 3 episodes weren't as interesting.

The opening theme is nice but the OST in particular did not stand out to me.

For the most part it is an easy binge watch with good cinematography, interesting characters, good acting and a job well done by Nam Yoon Su.

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Incredible acting, important series, so so writing

The actors did a great job, I commend to the them cause they brought the characters to life in such an immersive way, even when the writing had some problems in my opinion.

I appreciate the will to talk about the many struggles of a person part of the LGBTQIA+ community, but since the themes are particularly sensitive I felt some issues were rushed into the plot, like Yeong being HIV+. This is such an important question that it deserved more time to breathe into the story.
I feel like the overall length of the series was enough, the issue is how it was spent: some moments and themes needed more time and attention or the writer could’ve chosen to focus on one/two but do a better job. Some others got way too much space and didn’t even add much to the story cause of their repetitiveness (the many club scenes, the multiple scenes in which Yeong was with his mother, she said the same things and he then ran away leaving her with the caregiver…).
The religious guilt linked to the mother and Yeong Su is another sensitive matter and it was barely touched (like the scene where his mum clearly got him locked up in a psych ward when he was a teen?! You can’t just drop that scene and move on like nothing happened!)
I also would’ve loved a happy ending, gotta be honest, and I’m not one for them.
I often hear members of the community saying how refreshing it is to have representation that it is not only tragedy after tragedy when it comes to dramas/series/movies based on their experiences, and I feel like here we leaned way too much into the depiction of the hopelessness of a gay man. As much as it’s the experience of many and it’s important to represent it, I felt that Yeong Su was being the protagonist of a witch hunt more than a coming of age/slice of life to the point of feeling cruel for the sake of it. I feel very torn, cause it’s and important piece of media, but it was executed ok.

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A Great KBL

I really enjoyed watching the series 💯. The series teaches the important of loving oneself properly and how friendship is a very integral part of life. A very realistic ending and a beautiful story but there were so many things I couldn’t understand.
Why was his best friend not aware he had Kylie , where was she when he lost his mother and when he almost lost his life, she literally called him to hangout after not long after he lost his mother and we didn’t see her at the funeral . I didn’t really get his story with Habibi too . His friends deserved to know what he had been dealing with at least and they didn’t preach safe sex and how he was having relations with people while having Kylie , I feel like that should have been touched as well. But apart from that I loved it

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AS IT WAS

"In the heart of Seoul’s electric hum,
Where towers scrape the sky, and dreams collide,
I found you, a fleeting ghost in the throng,
A silhouette dancing in the neon glow. "

I'M CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS
Dear Fam,

I am crying while writing this. I decided to rewatch LOVE IN THE BIG CITY to test my psychological capability. This reassessment may have come a bit too late but I want you'all to at least lend me your opinions if you can.

In a nutshell Go Young was the cheesy playful guy who ditched our serious ballad loving Photographer from his first model Gig, definitely 70% contributed to his death by a car accident and I'm sure those who watched know how he must have been guilty all this time.

That guilt made him try so hard even with scumbags like Youngsoo, that Senior researcher who was writing a publication on the evils of homosexuality while screwing his a**. Pause [What is wrong with most MEN?] replay.

Go Young definitely felt like trying hard since he must have never recovered from the trauma of that ballad guy but its like the Universe was unfair that every other choice thereafter had to confirm his self imposed fallacy that a GAY MAN COULD NEVER DREAM OF HAVING A HAPPY ENDING.

Wow he got aids, his military service was cut short not if it was something to be proud of but see he only needed one person to at least feel that after all he had been through perhaps made him understand or even try to understand what love is or is close to but I guess the bitter fact that was rubbed in our face was that he already had a chance, even if not the best, it was good enough, it could have perhaps led him to the best outcome, its just that he realised it too late and because it was too late the Universe punished his every attempt to make up for it and made it futile instead.

We were left with a withering dying man, all alone, with aids, his friends well ahead of him, and all those years of self discovery a wasted achievement of nothing.

He temporarily forgot that no moment lasts forever, everyone moves on, the world evolves and changes along with people and we can never be in full control. However, rather than facing it all alone it's better with someone by your side, the only problem is that for Go Young that person was already gone and he might have as well never been lucky in life again to ever find another one.

I dunno if this series speaks volumes to you like it has to me, I might reevaluate myself and call it the best BL of 2024 and probably ever, perhaps not because it is mainly a BL novel but rather because it is the Tragic testament of the Life of a Gay Man whose every yield in life was bitter🥺

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Self-sabotage your life…

It’s a character study on a really unlikeable character, dare I say unlovable person? By the end of the show I felt empty and following Go Yeong’s life was simply exhausting. While most dramas highlight the good traits of the characters, this one puts on the spotlight all the flaws and makes you feel uncomfortable.

I honestly cannot really say much good about Go Yeong. His egocentric nature, not learning from his own mistakes, double standards, unrealistic expectations, lack of motivation, constant negative thinking made me just sigh as I watched him self-sabotage over and over again.

And then you start to see all the unfortunate things that happened to him, all the small and big tragedies, events that completely changed his life and you feel bad for him. He was rather… pitiful, but one that you just did not know how to help, even if you had a chance.

Never learning from his mistakes was his biggest flaw. He understood many times what went wrong, he clearly reflected on his behaviors… and then when the time came to make a different decision, he followed the same wrong path. Over and over again.

He was surrounded by people, yet so alone.

What made this drama work for sure was the directing and the acting. They sell the story for me. I think we can all agree that Nam Yoon Su did a phenomenal job as Go Yeong, but I also want to talk about Jin Ho Eun as Sim Gyu Ho. There was something so… vulnerable about that performance I was honestly in awe.

Episode 3 and 4 were visually stunning - probably the best use of light I had seen compared to the other episodes. Visually it perfectly captured that part of Go Yeong's life - romanticized feelings of falling in love to then crumble into pieces.

On the bad side though, there were some storytelling aspects I did not enjoy at all. Inconsistencies about how important or unimportant specific plot points were, how much impact they had on character lives, what were the true reasonings and motivations for some actions.

Still, what a gripping story. Not enjoyable, but that was never the point of it. It’s not really a love story if you ask me. It’s a life story.

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The best 400 minutes in my life.

This was raw, pure, and true to the core.
Like I was shattered into many pieces, put back together, and shattered again.
I felt all emotions of the universe.

The writing is characterized by its lyrical quality and raw honesty. The narrative is not linear; it meanders through various episodes of life, to experience emotional highs and lows intimately.

It is a heartfelt exploration of what it means to love and be loved in a society that often imposes rigid boundaries on personal identity. A reflection on resilience, vulnerability, and the enduring quest for connection in an ever-complex world.

Yes, finding love in a big city is very hard but one thing is for sure it was Love.

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Frequently Asked Questions: A Partial Guide to "Love In The Big City"

Content Warning: Mild sardonic humour.

I. THE BASICS.

Should I watch this show?

Absolutely.

Why?

Because it is perhaps the best Korean series I have seen under the BL/LGBT rubric. 



Really? But you hate everything!
I know!

What’s so good about the show?
The cast and the acting are both superb, the cinematography is very good, and the production commendable. The directors (especially of the later episodes) did a great job creating and sustaining specific moods within which the drama plays out. But, above all, I just fell in love with the story, and all the people, flawed as they are, in it. I felt as if I had entered a whole, new, fully realised world, which I was loth to leave. It was funny, messy, enjoyable, beautiful, quietly moving, and at times, devastating.

What’s middling about it?

The script. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, you'll roll your eyes or cringe. Sometimes, you're left with more questions than answers.

And what’s bad?
That depends on what you want out of the show. If you’re expecting a traditional BL, you’ll be disappointed. If you're looking for social commentary on homophobia in Korea, you'll be disappointed. If you’re looking for likeable characters, a protagonist you can root for, or for the evolving presence of another character besides the protagonist, you’ll also be disappointed.

How would you characterise this show then?
Think of "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man", but make it gay and less obnoxious. The story is about Ko Yeong, and Ko Yeong alone. It is to his life that the series is devoted. Other people will merely come and go. As they do in the solipsistic theatre in each of our lives.

Does it have a happy ending?
I will not dignify that with a response.*


II. PLOT & CHARACTERS.

What is the plot of the show?
It really doesn't have one. You just follow the life of Ko, and see the world through his perspective, which, admittedly, is limited, self-serving and sometimes suffocating. However, the overarching theme is love, and how, in contrast to what Pope Ru Paul II says, you can't really love yourself until you have dared to love someone else.

Can you say more?
Well, without spoiling too much, I think the show is about how we don't always recognise love when we have it, nor understand it when we profess it, nor, worst of all, know how to treasure it until we lose it.

Sounds painful.
It's love!

Who is Ko Yeong, then?
He's a writer, and is obviously modelled on Sang Young Park, the person who wrote the novel on which this is based. I won't say anything more than that. You should discover his character on your own.

Oh no, he's unlikeable, isn't he?
Since when did people start insisting that all fictional characters must be admirable or paragons of moral purity? He's human, and yes, humans are often insufferable.

Alright, alright. What about the other characters?
Yeong has a good group of friends, a girl friend from college with whom he lives for a while, lovers who come and go, and then there is... no, I don't want to spoil it. There's also his mum and dad, though the latter has only a marginal presence, and is very thinly sketched.

How well-drawn are the other characters?
Well, you will have to first accept that most characters aren't present throughout the show. They do drop off. If you accept that -- and I'm not saying you should -- I think they are very well-drawn. The girl friend and Yeong's mother are my favourites. The Japanese character at the end is the worst-written. But the actors are, with one or two exceptions, brilliant, and bring their subjects vividly to life.


III. THE SCRIPT & ACTING.

Is the writing any good?
Yes, and no. There is a lot to like about it. It is suffused with humour and charm -- a rare virtue in this world -- and pregnant with pathos. But it is uneven. Some episodes are clearly better than others.

Such as?
Again, I don't want to spoil too much. But there is an episode involving a break-up scene in a pasta restaurant. Let's just say, it was perfect. The note on which the episode ends might seem irredeemably cheesy, and might have been better written, but I thought it was the right note on which to end it. Not least because, otherwise, homophobia would have won the day. I will also say that the writing in Ep. 6 was perhaps the best in the series, and the best in any Korean TV show I have seen -- which, outside the BL world, is admittedly not a lot. Obviously, Park loves Madame Bovary, the references and parallel to which, for those who have read it, will be obvious.

When is the writing bad?
It mainly comes down to two things: pacing, and on-the-nose sentimentality. Evidently, squeezing a 200-page novel into an 8-part series is hard, but the script could have nevertheless been sharper, and the timing better spent. There are omissions that make little sense, and inclusions that are baffling. The other problem is its propensity to lapse into sentimentality when it is not sure that the audience will feel the way it wants them to feel. This leads to narrative overcompensation, and therefore to some of the sappiest moments in the show. Having said that, there is another plausible explanation for this sappiness and for some of the more overt fairy tale moments. (Emphasis on the ‘fairy’.)

What is it?
This is a bit of a spoiler. But Yeong, in the end, strongly implies that the story we have seen is not real, but a fictionalised version of his life that he has written for himself. He is attempting to write and rewrite story of his past loves — which is symbolised in the lantern scene — and yet (or therefore) fails to understand it. The fairy tale moments are a symbol of that want. This is, of course, a generous interpretation on my part. But I think it is justified.

I have to ask, this being a Korean production, do the men in the show at least kiss?
Oh, they do so much more than that!

Glory Hallelujah! So the actors don't hold back?
No! The cast is quite amazing. (Well, except the Japanese cast member. He should have been fired.) And the lead is a tremendous actor, and, from what I gather, a very good person.

Is this what happens when straight people are not put in charge of a show?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.*


IV. THE ISSUES.

I presume the show has something to say about what it's like to be gay in Korea and all that?
It sure does.

And?
Well, it is not a PSA about homophobia in Korea, and thank heavens for that. The story does touch upon all the issues, but by allusion and ellipsis, and not, as lesser shows do, in the service of edification or worse, as a plot device.

So, what does come up?
Christianity, of course, and the homophobia it sows. (Somebody should put up a poster somewhere: CHRISTIANITY. RUINING YOUR SEX LIFE FOR 2000 YEARS!) Conversion therapy. Internalised homophobia. HIV. PrEP.

Does it deal with these issues well?
Urgh.* Why should the onus of that be on the show? Or on any work of art? But, to answer your question, for the most part, yes. Yeong has never had trouble accepting himself, and wants to be only himself. (Though in the first episode or two, that does not always appear to be the case.) And HIV is not a death sentence in the show, and it is clear that, when it was filmed/written, Thailand was farther ahead on PEP/PrEP than Korea. (Japan doesn't offer PrEP to this day!) These are all a normal part of what it means to be a sexually active gay person today, and it is to the show's credit that it portrays it as such, and not as an onerous check-list to tick off. Such things come up organically, and don't feel forced. There is one issue, however, that I should perhaps warn you about, which is my one area of moral uncertainty about the show.

Which is?
The question of when and how to tell a potential sexual partner you have HIV. It was once unquestionable that you had to tell all potential partners. But with PrEP and PEP, as well as the medical certainty that Undetectable=Untransmittable, these things are no longer quite so clear cut, not least when the stigma of disclosing your HIV status remains as strong as ever. Yeong says in the show that he has only told one partner (which, on its face, is quite unbelievable). But that makes his behaviour with other partners morally dubious, unless we know that he's undetectable, which he does seem to be. (Korea's public health system does pay for HIV medication.) Then why not say so, especially when it could have been done in two lines of dialogue or less? It would have also added to the depth of Yeong's character, by adding more substance to his limitations as a human being. This, I think, *is* an instance of bad writing.


V. LIFE LESSONS

Does the show offer any pearls of wisdom for young gay (or bi) men?
Yes, plenty!

Such as?
1. Don't go out with a philosopher. Ever.
2. Don't date Christians. Or rather, practising Christians of the born-again, evangelical sort.
3. If you're going to go to bed with a guy on the DL, don't fall in love with him. To quote a wise woman: Use him, abuse him, lose him.
4. If a guy asks you to hide who you are in public, or in front of other people, run.
5. If it seems like you're dating one prick after another, or one closet-case after another, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Maybe it's you, Linda!
6. Keep a good group of friends around you who understand you.
7. Learn about PEP, PrEP, U=U, STDs, and when in doubt, always use a condom.
8. If you are lucky enough to find a man with whom you can be yourself, don't ever let him go.
9. Loving another person is perhaps the hardest thing in the world to do. And for all its highs, rushes, longings, and satisfactions, it also has its long periods of languor, stupor, pain, and disappointment. Don't confuse these for signs of failure and give up.
10. There is a reason we have appropriated the word 'gay' for ourselves. We are lovely, funny, messy, sexy, gorgeous, insane creatures. Embrace it!


VI. LAST WORDS

It sounds as if, even though you like the show a great deal, you do have a few reservations about it. Why do you then praise it so, and why the high rating?
I don't usually go into shows with any set expectations. I go in with a spirit of receptiveness, to see what the work has to offer. In most BLs I come across here, what I see is a straight woman's fantasy of two men being in love, where, if you replace the submissive person with a woman, you'd barely notice the difference from a run-of-the Mills & Boons romance.

I see what you did there.
Haha, yes. Nothing wrong with that, of course. Pleasure is pleasure. But it does not resonate with me. (I also find it deeply troubling when shows go out of their way to avoid the word 'gay', or avoid depictions of gay intimacy -- which decision, alas, wins much plaudits among the viewership here.) On the other hand, films that are tagged with the LGBT label are expected to focus too heavily on the pain of coming out, societal homophobia, bullying, suicides, and persecution, which, of course, is vital and important. But something gets lost in the middle between these two extremes of straight-washed fantasy and hideous reality. This show exists in that in-between space, and that's what appealed to me the most. Love mixed with hatred, levity with weight, humour with sorrow, fantasy with reality, charm with severity, isolation within crowds, and pockets of tolerance within a hostile city. The show is not quite realistic, but it is *real*. It is a world I can recognise as being true, as being faithful to life. And it is not often I can say that.

*The asterisk indicates an ironic or sardonic comment, not to be taken literally. I wish I didn't have to point this out. But given that some people are constitutionally devoid of a sense of humour (see below, and on the comments section of the show), I thought it better to be safe. Sigh.

Reader's Digest:
DO SAY: Monsieur Yeong, c'est moi!
DON'T SAY: Let us be Seoul Mates

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