*Archived - written in September 2022*

My goal in life is to become a drama master :)

But, it's not just about watching lots of dramas, it's about enjoying dramas to the FULLEST :D

The truth is, I'm actually kind of a loner. It's because I have trouble opening up to people, I'm scared of what other people think of me constantly. I incessantly compare myself to others in the worst ways possible, and so I don't feel that inherently, I have any self-worth. This makes it hard for me to connect to others.

But, one thing remains true, that I love dramas. So, withall of this unacknowledged passion bubbling within me, I wish to invest it into something I genuinely love, not put it into creating a mask to show to others that doesn't reflect who I really am--even if I am kind of a sad loner. I want to STOP comparing myself to others and just enjoy what I want because I TRULY enjoy it.

I think that dramas help me become more open-minded. For the longest time, I have only been focusing on dramas with a certain set of criteria, which is the result of me thinking that my standards are above others--but I wish to branch out and watch a bunch a different stuff. Because a drama may not be the most realistic, or have the best writing, or even make the most sense, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't have value.  If I reject a drama, I want to do it because I tried my best to watch it with an open-mind, and maybe I'll find dramas that I like which I didn't expect to like.

I want to be more patient and open-minded now, and I want to be genuine. It's weird, but I think dramas will help me do that. I know how much of a loner I sound, but I hope that by embracing something I love, that I will become someone who sees value in who I really am, even if I don't have a lot of friends.