Watashi to Otto to Otto no Kareshi (2023)

Polyamory

What started as almost a typical cheater-husband-discovered-and-wife-struggles-to cope-plot quickly became a heartfelt drama about not only society's judgement of the not "normal" but also one's internal judgment, the struggle to fight for one's own happiness, and the willingness to open oneself up to new possibilities, all featuring genuine people trying to do the "right" thing. And beyond just that, the scale of "like."

If you're looking for an exploration of relationships that is complicated but worth it in the end, then this is the drama for you.

I only want a monogamous relationship. I may not understand--I say "understand" because I myself have felt some annoyance hearing Straight people say they "understand" my being Bi, because, to me, you can't truly understand something unless you live it--what it's like to be polyamorous. But I can accept the reality of it because it is someone's reality, I can learn about it, and I can widen my understanding of the world past my own nose. I feel that's what this was trying to say in the end: You don't have to "get it." Just try to grow and see more than yourself.

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challenging the idea of normal and does it matter

Overall: This series has realistically flawed characters who are trying to figure out how to make each other and themselves happy. They are challenging the idea of normal and does normal even matter to them and their happiness. If you're looking for a steamy poly relationship or a fluffy romcom, then look elsewhere. 10 episodes, 24 minutes each. Aired on GagaOOLala.

Content Warnings: non con photo taking, harassment, homophobia, sexism, non con kissing/touching maybe turned consensual, teacher/former student, and there is something and I've put it on a comment

What I Liked
- challenging norms/ideas such as monogamy, how putting others' happiness before your own can actually be a burden to that person, addressing that just because someone wants to be in a poly relationship (and also that they are bi/pan) does not mean that they are attracted to every person
- diversity (polyamory, gay, bi/pan, lesbian)
- Misaki and Yuuki standing up for one another and against the father
- Misaki was smart and figured out who was taking the pictures
- Misaki seeking communication and carefully thinking/changing
- sweet moments
- production value

Room For Improvement
- sub par kissing, 1 kissing partner did not move his lips and it looked strange
- some plot conveniences/wish they had more time to delve into some parts more deeply
- Yuuki's "plan" was terrible in episode 8
- reinforced negative stereotypes about poly relationships (we see so few representations in media, so I was hoping this would play out a bit differently)
- the open ending, it really could go in a number of different directions

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A Sad Story

While the story itself is as old as time, the way it is presented is different. This is an exceptionally well-acted series that pretended to go deep but for me did not. What you have are essentially three flawed people who by circumstance become intertwined with each seeking something that ironically, they cannot give themselves. They each want to think ‘outside the box’ in terms of what is a ‘normal’ behavioral pattern for a relationship, but struggle to define for themselves what is normal. I found this series empty, soul-destroying, and profoundly sad. Confused by its message yet compelled to watch it in a very voyeuristic fashion. This is one series that I quite literally want to forget.

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It's a daring work that goes beyond polyamory

Japanese dramas always give us the weirdest plot which is not for everyone. But if you want to have a look at the philosophy of PolyA relationship, you could watch this. I personally have mix feelings. I can't say I'm happy with it 100% or I hate it 100%. But there are some points they did well and there are some points that make me believe it shouldn't exist.
1. The story was daring
Rather than solely featuring polyA relationship, it expands to what's considered "normal" and "not normal" as social norms. Therefore, there are a lot to say about its content, and it's up to each person's belief. My advice is that before you watch this series, form your own belief first and follow the story and then either adjust/ or stay firm to your belief, because if we do not have our own opinions, we would be swayed by them and feel lost in our own thoughts.
2. The second half was really heavy. I could watch Ep 1-5 in one go but I had to space out ep 6-10. The atmosphere in Misaki's apt is always very heavy, it makes us really feel that everyone in that apt is not happy. And this contrasts to a house full of laughters when Misaki is with Maki and Daiichi.
They also feature the patriarchal dad of Yuuki who brought a lot of tensions with his oppressive and obsolete mindset - which is very relevant in some families.
3. The first half is more about Shuhei - the homewrecker - came to Yuuki and Misaki life and stir it up, but the second half is more about Yuuki and Misaki dealing with their own problems. They all grow in some ways and find away to cope with it, although I believe after ep 10, they will have a lot of challenges coming up.
4. The series successfully whitewash Shuhei. It's really hard for us to hate him in series. No one in the series is to blame. They all need sympathy in some ways.
5. With the ending: [Misaki and Yuuki filed divorce but three of them continue to live together and try to figure out a life of 3 with multiple forms of "like"], I would say it is an Open Ending. They are somewhat happy but the fact that three of them wake up in the middle of the night also hints that there will be more challenges and problems await. But I would be more mad, if they end up letting Shuhei have physical rela with Misaki or Misaki falls in love with Shuhei. Ofc each persons would have their own ideal ending. Next, what they could do better is improving the chemistry between Yuuki and Shuhei. My gosh! I was waiting to see a "couple feeling" in the second half, but well still none. They really don't look like they love eo at all though I still feel chemistry in Yuuki - Misaki and Shuhei - Misaki. This is the point which I'm dissatisfied most.
Oh and the reason why it shouldn't exist is that, basically, this kind of mess starts from cheating, and I'm not comfortable with cheating. PolyA is fine but only if people in polyA consent to it and acknowledge it.

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A writer who understands the LGBTQ umbrella

It was great. I saw many low ratings for this and almost didn't watch, but I would ended up skipping a great show. I can see a lot of people starting this and dropping by episode 1 or 2. At the beginning I was annoyed too. I thought it kinda looked like a soap opera. I thought we would stay in the Misaki that loves Yuki that loves Shyuuhei that loves Misaki... I thought it would be like so many other BL that the women are just a plot device and that in the end she would be alone and the two guys would be together. But it wasn't like this and I'm glad. I think I got hooked on this by episode 3 or 4 in a scene in which Shuuhei explained that are two people he really loved and said that just because he loved more that one person, it didn't mean he would just love anyone. Yes, that was something simple but SO important.

Then we have Yuki and this character is so REAL. As a LGBTQ person I know so many people like him. People who try so hard to be who they aren't so they can make other people happy. People who aren't accepted by their family at all because of their sexuality, but they desperately wants to fit in . When we watch dramas like this one many people ask "why would they get married then? don't they know they will make the other people suffer at some point?", but honestly straight people won't EVER understand this. Why would a homosexual person start a straight relationship? Yes, it's messed up and by the end of the day I feel bad for both people inside this relationship. In here is not different. I feel bad for them. Him, the one that always lived inside a cage. Her, in love, hurt and holding the cage's key. More than once I asked why Misaki would keeping hurting herself like this. But obviously it was because she was in love, because she never really saw Yuki was hurting as much as her, because they both are pretenders. I feel like this story deserves a season 2 because even though Misaki opened that cage, Yuki was still scared to fly. Maybe he wasn't even able to fly anymore. While at it, Misaki found happiness in her own way.

And by that I want to talk about how sensitive this show was about the LGBTQ. Many people, to this day, believe that LGBTQ stands only for that letters. This show keeps talking about "normal", the "normal way" and by that they meant "heterosexual monogamous relationships" because that's what society believes to be normal. But this drama gave us homosexuality, bisexuality and pansexuality, demisexuality, aromanticism, asexuality, polyamory and kinds of love. It was absolutely RICH and nice to see it all inside one drama and it all was made in a respectful way. I watched many dramas in which bisexuality and polyamory was used as a device to have "hot scenes". So just by that I'm glad I found this one.

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Radical and comforting

For some reason, I thought this show is just another BL story with a pinch of potential polyamory on top. I was vaguely curious about it for a year, and finally decided to give it a chance a few days ago. I finished it in one sitting and cried at least twice. I don't think any other recent mainstream media resonated with me on such a visceral level when it comes to the topics of autonomy, love and freedom.

It never uses the word, but I think this story can easily be viewed through an anarchist lens. All the main characters suffer from the weight of the walls and boxes built around them: heteronormativity and patriarchy (the realisation of one's sexuality that can feel as if the world ended, the pressures of being a man, a woman, wife, husband, son), mononormativity (the way love is seen as a scarce resource, the way some forms of love are seen as more important than others), and (although briefly) it touches the edges of allo/amatonormativity as well (the way separation of romantic and sexual attraction is still such an alien concept to a lot of people). Through a messy, complicated journey, they eventually learn how to break through these walls. They learn to realise their autonomy, prioritise their own happiness, set each other free and thus find their own freedom.

Breaking the walls, changing is a scary process, it's hard, it does feel like dying sometimes. It's also scary to set someone you cherish and love free, but I think it's worth it, and this show illustrates it, even if not perfectly. Because staying inside those walls, when they weren't even made to fit you, is a slow, suffocating death. Setting things and people free doesn't mean you lose them though, you can actually get even closer with them as a result.

I like all three main characters. They're all flawed in their own ways, they feel real, and they grow and find happiness within themselves. I especially enjoyed Shuhei, probably just because I relate to him the most. I'm very happy to see a non-monogamous bisexual character, who isn't treated like a villain, but instead given the voice to question the norms that villainize people like him.

I have issues with the pacing in the last three-ish episodes, and I think the directing was a little poor at some points. But the overall themes of the story, beautiful sets and lighting, and some wonderful dialogue here and there, that I think will stay in my head for a while, outweigh its weaknesses.

I don't mind the open ending. In fact, out of all possible endings, I think this one makes the most sense to me. Although they set each other free, they're not actually separated. They still come together and smile at each other with relief. Maybe something will change in the future, but it's alright, actually. Dying is alright, because then you can build something new and wonderful.

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One's polyamorous love that can make others polyamorous as well?!

First of all when I started watching or when I decided to watch this drama I had no idea about the complexity I was about to face cuz I thought I was gonna watch another "coming out" drama. Oh boy... I was sooo wrong!

In the beginning I was quite confused with the whole plot and was about to drop it. Then I thought let's see how it goes. A wife and a husband, both of them love eachother to the point where they'll do anything to make eachother happy. But one day on their wedding anniversary she saw her husband kissing another boy at their doorstep, who turned out to be her student (😭). Fast forward to the boyfriend who is polyamorous, (likes multiple people at same time) likes the husband and the wife as well. Somehow he managed to get into their house, now 3 of them are living together under one roof. So it is a journey of self discovery and giving in what heart desires.

Personally I think the only who has to "lose" is the wife. Cuz the husband and the boyfriend love eachother, oth the wife loves the husband but he just "likes" her. They wanted eachother to be happy but still made eachother suffer by not divorcing when both of them are monogamous. It is mentioned that it's a work of a fiction but I believe there's some people in the world who are living their life this way.

As you can see the whole situation is quite complicated for any monogamous person to understand. Personally I think they're gonna be unhappy throughout their life if they stay like this. Defying "normal" and living as poly can only complicate their lives unless they find suitable partners of a same mentality. Only Japan can produce something innovative like this.

It is a sensitive topic and not everyone's gonna "understand" them, but knowing something other than "normal" is the only way to educate yourself about endless possibilities the world have.

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Once again, Honda Kyoya plays his role to perfection.

I love watching Honda Kyoya's acting. I started watching this for the plot because it sounded interesting. But I am finding more and more that Honda-san can pull off (seemingly) any role, and can (in my opinion) outperform his co-stars. It is a common Japanese trait that people seem on edge, regardless of the situation. But Honda always seems comfortable in his skin, whether he be in character or as himself.

As for the other actors: Some of them were really good in their roles. Others, including the married couple, just never seemed comfortable. Granted, their roles required them to feel uncomfortable in a good portion of the program, but it just seemed to me like they had put on full-body costumes (like a Hello Kitty costume at a birthday party) and never really clicked with the personality of the character. But maybe that's just me.

I was really interested in a good portion of the series, but I was disappointed with the ending. In my head, there were a multitude of ways that the writers would take this, but the way it ended was unsatisfying to me. It didn't seem to me that the mains ever really understood poly relationships and were just looking to be roommates. To be fair, everyone has their own definition of happiness and relationships, but Shuhei just seemed to put his aside.....idk. It feels like I need to talk this one out to others and get their opinions in order to formulate a conclusion. So, while I did feel like the story is worth watching, I feel like it's not finished. If I had friends who would be interested in something like this, I would definitely throw a watch party and go through this drama again.

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Surprisingly interesting and new

First of all, my expectations weren't high for this series - and I'm surprised how good it is!

Since the end of very first episode the plot caught my interest. It's not the typical drama where one's cheated on and acts out of anger as a consequence. Especially the female lead role shows interesting ways of understanding life and acts unpredictable. I liked it very much to see such a strong female character. She doesn't depend on her husband and her husband appreciates her a lot. This creates a unique dynamic between them.
The story focus not just only on their relationship but also how the society set standards and norms for relationships. The series breaks free some of those but to make a change you need a lot of courage.
I think series like these are very important to show other possible forms of love relationships and create an idea how to love. And it's okay either way as long as you're happy.

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Maybe it's ahead of it's time.

Honestly they need therapy. I don't really want to judge polyamory, cause I don't want a repeat to Gay prejudice LOL, maybe polyamory will become normal maybe it won't, me personally I'm not for Polyamory but I don't have the right to say it's wrong, the story started out with me fuming and it ended with me unsatisfied. What the guys did is 100% cheating and the girl never once did, she just deserved better than those two that's why I'm unsatisfied, but who am I to say how to live her life, but yeah as the show said who are we to say what is normal, so I'm trying to keep it in mind. It's a good watch while doing chores.

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Everybody Loves Misaki

This is a story about a teacher who is so pretty and kind that most humans (no matter what gender or sexual preference) seem to fall in love with her at first sight, she is also cool, kind the type who makes the people around her shine... And is probably one of the most human female leads in all of dramaland. Yes she has flaws, and goes though a bunch of stuff but there is just something about Misaki that wins over both the people in the drama as well as those watching it.

Even though Misaki is loved by all, she has this tiny little issue of being stuck in a society that has taught her to value monogamy above all , and well that puts her in a kind of painful and awkward situation when her husband decides to break it to her that his love for her is more of the platonic type (one could have guessed that a sexless marriage kind of may have that issue). But hope is the last thing to leave the wed woman... and well as long as there is love... However hubby is not really good at actually using words to communicate and rather likes to show her with actions instead... which is kind of being a total ****** ***** but then again it is hard to blame the dude as he indeed is a product of a heteronormative society...

Hubbys boyfriend on the other hand may be a tad oblivious to the society he lives in, but is just the cutest boy ever....

There are also a bunch of nice friendships, alcohol drinking, food and flirting... as I said there is something about that Misaki that makes everybody fall for, and well that is a pleasure to watch.

I also enjoyed the take this drama has on divorce.

Definitely a decent 10 episode binge. It may not make your heart flutter but it will make you think about stuff...

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Boring

This series is boring and not well put together. The chemistry was off and the bi-sexual storyline was not played out well. Not recommended. If your in to threesomes then go for it. Sadly i was happy when it was over as it lacked a lot. the cast is cute and has pretty good acting, but the storyline was not at all interesting. This looked very unrealistic and it would never really work out like this. Sadly for me a no-go. A lot of the backstory and flow did not work out well. I would say this is for someone that enjoys three three-way relationships and the drama of loving 2 people. For me, this was a complete downfall.

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