Utsukushii Kare (2021)

I don't know how to feel about it..

I just don't know how to feel about this series. I may need some time to process what truly happened and what each of the characters really went through but for now I get this weird feeling of unfulfillement (if this word even exists).

I get that both of the main leads struggle with their own demons and they're not ready for love. I really get that and I think it's somehow real in terms of I can actually see this happening in real life. This story has no sugar coating and that's what I appreciate.

However - I personally don't like Kiyoi and the toxicity his character is filled with.

It's like "oh he's being mean to you because he likes you and just doesn't know how to say it" was a person but make it 100x worse.
Do some people really find being kicked, pushed around and sworn at attractive? A genuine question because even though I get where the toxicity's coming from.. I still somehow can't find watching it enjoyable. Rather than being happy for them to finally get together I'm worried if they'll fix each other or go down together.. It's hard to describe it.

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Watch on lollipopsubs (google and donate 2 them if u can) cos the subtitles are CRUCIAL seriously to really understand where the hell they're coming from. i've heard people say this is all sudden but besides what we see (to me being obvious), the words really matter.

legit cw:
There are allusions to shootings, which for me was the most jarring and upsetting (small) part of the show. and I don't think this would have passed after Abe's assassination. I think most Americans will have difficulty with it; it just hits too close to home. it was too scary for me so i always ff.

because this show is so bizarre it's hard to explain why someone should/would watch (or at least encourage them to via a poorly written review.)

First of all, they have chemistry. The idol that plays Kiyoi is a knockout, so good for him! He's young, so the more he works, the better he'll get. Hira's actor, as well, plays his character very convincingly. Someone said "it's controversial without anything controversial happening" in a review here, and I think that's absolutely correct. So, if you're like me and are extremely critical of social stuff, messed up dynamics, or toxic shit, but aren't afraid to see a world where they exist in some form, I'd give it a shot. At first, I was planning to just skip around, and I actually worked backwards from Ep 6 to Ep 2, but seeing the full picture is a must. Besides some production decisions being good and the Japanese flair, the story progression just works (to me).

Had episode 5 not happened, the show would have been completely different. It ties everything together about Kiyoi and Hira as an entity, and it just makes shit just make sense (as much as this shit can make sense). They have good chemistry and aren't afraid to be near each other, though I can't figure out why they weren't allowed to kiss properly (I'm chalking it up to production because there's no way they were uncomfortable with each other, this whole fuckin' show is an education in discomfort). I think the thing about the series is that it takes all the weird and uncomfortable parts of life and love in stride. There were some scenes where I was just like, "Did that just happen?" but it was just a part of their day-to-day.

Not many dislikes since I tend to take the work as a whole and it wasn't distracting enough in stupidity for me to dislike the journey I was going on. I think I disliked Koyama, which is partially because it takes me a long time to warm up to someone's face, but I guess the contrast between him and Kiyoi was necessary because we go from someone who cares about him deeply but shows it in a roundabout way, for many reasons, and then to Koyama, who is very accommodating, which isn't necessarily what Hira needs even if Kiyoi could give it. I also hate that they couldn't be friends afterward because that's...fucked up, but anyway, it was evocative and a good choice.

I feel like I see something new when I rewatch, and on my 3rd rewatch, I really enjoy the aspect. This relationship isn't healthy per se, but there is no way these characters could exist in real life so the complete disbelief and then the grounding when Kiyoi says his peace (so to speak) makes it obvious that this is not feasible for reality. No one will find themselves in this situation. and good. The sacrifices they make for each other are so stupid (in a good way for the story). Their lives and love were just in this constant feedback loop and it's fascinating, especially as more of the story is uncovered. I'm not uncomfortable with a power imbalance or toxicity because they are both crazy (aforementioned controversial not controversial comment), so effectually it doesn't exist because they are both needy, selfish, and sad. LMAO I just didn't expect the show to pan out like it did, but I'm glad I experienced it and I am very excited about the movie since you could write a lot about where they land next and how they give us more intensity and a glimpse into their lives and Hira's true emotions and affections. Additionally, they'll be able to use those good old freak skills for some good intimacy. I mean, you lick the blood off the hand of the person you love. That is true.

I do abhor obsession with sexual position dynamics—it reeks of sexism AND misogyny, transphobia; a misunderstanding of sex, love, bodies and sexuality, and false innateness—so it interests me how rigid we want to be even with a story like this. This isn't on the production team necessarily, but it's always interesting to me to see how ubiquitous it is in this genre period (and I know why) and how people receive this genre and work. I would ask for more leeway in letting people be people; not be characterized by arbitrary markers that are presented as innate especially after the fact. Clearly their relationship is difficult to pin down (in the show, not the novel idk i didn't read it) which is why their physical /sexual pull is so alluring because it's unpredictable, as most are.

Like I said, because I skipped around in the beginning, I didn't realize how crucial the aspects of the other side were to the story and to making it come together, so when I did, it just hit harder. It's most certainly not perfect, but my enjoyment trumped having to think too hard, and that's all a girl needs sometimes. I'm also just a fucking fool—a sucker—for a "the person who loved me first/the most loves me less than I love them and our worlds will fall apart if I don't express it" or "proving my love to the person who loves me the most" trope. Maybe if this were played by different actors, I would feel strongly in other directions, but it wasn't and I didn't, and if you are looking for some really weird fun and 6 episodes of befuddling tension, I would recommend it.

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If they had just stuck closer to the original this could have been so much better...

I started watching this series as there were many positive reviews about it. Unfortunately, I found it VERY difficult to watch and really had to force myself to finish it... .

After watching the first 2 episodes and just couldn't bring myself to feel any empathy or interest for any of the characters, I wondered if the original story made the two main characters look just as bad as the drama and started reading what I could find of the manga. And to my surprise: While the general setting is the same, the characters are SO much better in the source material. I don't know why the writers decided to make both the mains so damn unlovable...

Hira is way more stalkery/kimoi in the drama while in the manga he is still uncomfortably obsessed but more in a awkward and desperate way. In the drama they cranked up the creepy-factor by a hundred and somehow still expected us to feel with him, which I couldn't bring myself to.

And I felt that they especially did Kiyoi dirty: In the drama he is a complete asshole and actively bullies and assaults Hira several times, while in the manga he is mainly onlooking during the bullying and comments on Hira's creepiness here and there, but we see him often de-escalate uncomfortable/bad situations for Hira and him showing hidden affection such as buying him food, etc.

In the orginal story their characters are a lot more nuanced and hence the change of their relationship makes more sense as you can pick up on some small but meaningful actions by Kiyoi towards Hira. The way the drama portays them, however, I felt very put off by both of them and couldn't find myself to root for either of them much less for them together . And in the drama (SPOILER AHEAD) the whole 'I loved him all along, just didn't know how to express it' as well as them getting together in the end was just very unbelievable to me as you literally see NO affection - hidden or otherwise - up until they change perspectives. And even then it seemed really unblievable/nonsensical to me.

So... while I will try to finish reading the manga, I definitely will not watch the other installments of this adaptation.

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My Contradictions

I love the story in itself but the characters design was very edging, it was hard to watch something. I just couldn't truly understand the things they did most of the time. How it seemed like they were two totally incompatible people but at the same time so similar.

However I do like how the characters never seem to overshadowed each other and I love how their feelings were always shown even if it wasn't said out loud, I could almost feel what they felt. I could see that there was a lot of hidden insecurity with in themselves which made them feel way more human. The other struggling with self acceptance and the other seeking true love.

The way the characters complimented each other, was very bitter sweet but it made you want to route for them even more.

I still really recommed you watch it if you haven't. It's a beautiful story.

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There's *a lot* of angst and a very complicated dynamic, but it's good.

I really liked this one. I won't lie...there was a *ton* of angst. Like seriously, a lot. The dynamic between Hira and Kiyoi is very complicated and rocky, and they both have a lot of faults. The most prominent being that Hira only thinks about his own feelings and Kiyoi not expressing his feelings clearly. Although Kiyoi seems like an ass at the start, you start to better understand him and Hira more as the story develops and I genuinely felt a connection to both characters. I wish we could've gotten another episode or two at least, but I really liked the short and concise story. I see that the filming for the sequel movie started so I'll be looking forward to it!

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It Gives, But at What Cost?

Honestly I found myself being annoyed more than anything. Like I understand that this is a BL and all of them are kind of camp, but if Kiyoi treated me the same way he treats Hira? Absolutely not. It gets to the point where Hira straight up felt like a masochist for the entirety of the show. Even leaving the second love interest, who seemed like a much better healthier option for him, for Kiyoi. Who he wasn't sure like/loved him enough to be in a relationship with him. It was also annoying with how long it took Kiyoi to realize his true feelings for Hira, even when they had been graduated from high school and he had more than enough time to process his feelings. Like, I love me a good toxic relationship as much as the next BL fujoshi, but this BL just felt straight up mean-spirited at points. But I mean, if they like it I love it, more power to the two of them. Either way, if you find yourself struggling to get into this BL because of the weird relationship between the two male leads, I would suggest straying away/dropping it. As their relationship doesn't really get better until late season 2/the movie.

There are a lot of positives to the BL though. One being the very unique set up. Despite being a school BL and mostly set during school hours. A lot of the show feels different and never seen before. The cinematography and music was also pretty nice and I started listening to the OST on my own time. Not something I do with just any BL music. The other positives of this BL are how Hira and Kiyoi both have a clear goal/hobby that will be developed later in the second season and movie. The writers clearly knew how and when they would develop these character traits and skills. A nice payoff when you come back to season one and see how far they've come not only in their relationship, but careers as well.

Overall, I give it a 6/10. This is most definitely a personal problem though, as I just don't really find myself caring for Hira and Kiyoi to fall in love. I just never experience that butterflies in my stomach sensation within the first season and that's pretty much all I ask for within a BL. However I do appreciate everything this BL has to offer and suggest that anyone interested in it gives it an earnest watch with an open mind.

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Japanese BL about a student who stalks & falls in love with his bully & the soundtrack is excellent.

I thought this was going to be a typical student falls for his bully BL and it kinda is but a better description would be Japanese BL about a student who stalks & falls in love with his bully. The former would've left me annoyed, the latter left me baffled. Like he bullies him and that's not okay but he stalks him and is generally really creepy towards his bully and that's also not okay.

The love story was interesting because it was both beautiful & filled with red flags from both sides. It was an unconventional love story because regardless of both of them kinda taking advantage of each other, they did fall in love. They do seem to somehow belong together.

Though I couldn't really root for anyone, the confession scene was heartbreakingly beautiful.
It had some really creative & cool scenes which I loved.
Also the music was great. Seriously great soundtrack.

In conclusion: it's not okay to bully your crush. It is also not okay to stalk your crush.

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la mejor representación de amor puro que ví en un bl hasta ahora

nunca escribo reviews pero la verdad es que no puedo quedarme con las palabras en la boca :,)

veo mucha gente criticándola y diciendo que es aburrida pero creo que la juzgan al verla desde un punto de vista equivocado. si buscas mucho drama como a los bls que estamos acostumbrados, no es acá. tiene escenas íntimas pero no del tipo que se imaginan — también son pocas, pero las que hay te hacen poner la piel de gallina.

si quieren ver una buena representación de amor puro, verdadero e inocente, en una serie corta pero a su vez para nada apresurada, SÍ es acá. te va a dar un poco de bronca kiyoi y no explican mucho su punto de vista, pero una vez que se da a conocer te rompe el corazón completamente.

le sacas una captura de pantalla a cualquier escena de la serie y podría ser un cuadro. cada toma es hermosa, y mi favorita es cuando andan en bicicleta juntos. también la parte en la que kiyoi está durmiendo sobre un mueble en el colegio y hira lo observa como si fuera la persona más hermosa en el mundo (spoiler: si lo es).

no tengo mucho más para decir, mas que no duden en verla. es adorable, no se dejen llevar por unas pocas críticas negativas, realmente es una serie llevadera que podes terminar en poco tiempo y te deja satisfecha al 100% ⁠♡

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Hella Toxic!

In one sentence, they're toxic! Kiyoi doesn't deserve Hira. Hira is too good for kiyoi. Kayoma is the Hira should be with. He is the only one that treated Hira right.

Kiyoi never loved Hira, he just loved the attention he got! They both were mentally fucked up! He was just searching for the attention he never got from his parents. He thought Hira was selfish because he never asked how he felt! But he's the one who never thought how his behaviour is hurting Hira. Even he badmouthed about him to his co actor.

On the other hand, Hira had no self respect! Kiyoi treated him like shit still he kept giving! He probably loves hurting himself! If this is love, then it's better to stay away from it!

The only person loveable here is Koyoma! He really cared about Hira and even after being rejected, he thought about his happiness! Hira and koyoma would make a great couple!

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Uncomfortable but compelling

These boys have SO MANY problems, they both need therapy but instead they have each other.

One content warning I would like to make since it caught me off guard and made me pretty uncomfortable, the main character Hira has two scenes where he imagines shooting his classmates with an automatic weapon. He is not a bad guy but deeply troubled, and it doesn't really get much better on the mental health front as the show progresses.
This is a very interesting show though, and there is so much to unpack and discover with both of the main characters and the POV shift on the 5th episode really helps with that and offers insight into how Kiyoi feels, and what has led him to become like he is.

I am very much looking forward to starting the second season and finding out where these two absolute messes go from here.

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Not for everyone...

To be honest,at first i didnt like it. felt somehow cringy and gave toxic vibe. BUT... as i continued to watch i realized that it actually depicts real life struggles and relationship dynamics. I mean,we have a guy on the spectrum who falls in love with a guy who feels so out of his league it's impossible to have him, so he resumes to love him and worship him as a king/god, because that's the only kind of love he thinks he can give and have. And then,Kiyoi,the guy he put on a pedestal,loves him back but it's so difficult to break the wall Hira built that he gets frustrated,angry and gets hurt everytime he tries to approach him from a different angle. seriously...thats the closest to real life as you can get. It's not the typical highschool romance and i loved it in the end!

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kazuki my beloved, you deserved better

first of all, i preview this review with saying i might be biased in everything i say because i've been watching the drama for akira takano (kazuki's actor) and so i might be very attached (too attached, even) to kazuki's character.

anyway, i lowkey hated the first fex episode (until kazuki came in the picture) because i don't understand the relationship between hira and kiyoi. i mean obviously they are not right for each other, and kiyoi is just lowkey lunatic and violent towards hira ? also when they met again and hira was 'dating' kazuki he made lowkey very homophobic comments bc he was angry at hira for dating someone else ? and ? bro i get that you are jealous bc you'll never be as good as kazuki but please, have some respect :skull emoji:

i guess i just didn't really like either hira and kiyoi for most of the drama (up until the last episode actually, where they have some kind of character development) but i think both of them were mean and unfair towards kazuki and so i automatically want to fistfight them bc i just love kazuki you know... but also, they gave me akira takano crying and being sad and looking pretty and clingy and whiny and... thank y'all for giving me life, i didn't know i needed to see him as the perfect boyfriend so much.

ANYWAYS, they really had a character development in the last episode i guess (thanks kazuki for helping them get together even though you were heart broken and low key cheated on) and i feel they're going to be less annoying in the second season (and we see kazuki in it) so i'll definitely watch it i guess... i have hopes for it !

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