Because This is My First Life (2017)

Intelligent Drama on Love and Marriage

I gave it a few days before I wrote about this show, but my opinion hasn’t settled down yet. So here it goes. If you want something cute and fluffy…….this AIN’T it. If you want some comedy thrown in with some WAY TOO realistic drama……please watch Because This is my First Life.

STORY:
This is a story of 3 different couples and how they negotiate love and marriage and its very messy. Truly….that’s it. THAT is what this drama is about. The spoilers will now commence.

COUPLE #1: Yoon Ji Ho (played by Jung So Min) and Nam Se Hee (played by Lee Min Ki) are two people who need each other for convenience purposes. She needs a place to live and he needs a reliable room mate that will take care of his cat and the recycling (and not pee in his fridge – who does that? I can’t believe they put that in there). He hides all emotions behind logic and science because it hurts too much to feel (I can relate) and she can’t figure herself out and what she wants out of life despite being a smart and driven woman up until the 2nd episode (kinda ticked me off watching her get a little wimpy). They get married because his parents threatened him (even though he’s nearing 40, I guess that’s a thing in South Korea) and she doesn’t want to leave Seoul.

COUPLE#2: I hated these two more than anyone. Yang Ho Rang (played by Kim Ga Eun) and Shim Won Seok (Played by Kim Min Seok) have been dating for 7 years and living together for much of that time. She wants to get married and have kids and he doesn’t know what he wants, and he developed an unsaleable up that he’s been spending a lot of time trying to sell. (For someone so smart, he was way stupid on what is a good idea.) He is fighting marriage and she wants marriage……and they break up and get back together only to break up to get back together again….lather, rinse, repeat.

COUPLE#3: Woo Soo Ji (played by Lee Som) wants to be a CEO and never get married so she can care for her mother. Ma Sang Goo (played by Park Byung Eun) is a CEO and seems to be a player but ends up wanting to have a serious stable relationship with Soo Ji who fights him tooth and nail. She fears taking risks that might hurt her income because she is worried about her mother…..more confusion and sadness ensues.

This isn’t a bad show, I’m feeling a little sarcastic writing this review because it put me through the ringer. To be honest, I cried through episode 7 – 9 and sometimes out loud sobbing (how embarrassing). I’ve never cried so hard through any drama including Goblin and The Untamed. Why? Why did they need to do that to me? This is why I prefer fantasy or comedy shows instead of these painful realistic dramas that remind me that life is WAY TOO hard sometimes.

I will give it a good rating, but I’ll never watch it again. It hurts too much, and no show should hurt this much. From sexual assault to sexual harassment to revolting parents (his parents are just too much for me), this show touches (very nicely) on some uncomfortable subjects which they deal with head on and in technicolor. This show illustrates a lot of important women’s issues and does so with elegance and strength. Hat’s off to the screen writer. She did an incredible job! The friendship between the 3 women is so AWESOME.......but it would take too long to write about it here. I'll write an article about it. Again.....this writer is very talented.

MUSIC:
It was good but frankly, I just can’t relive a single second of this show so no interest in downloading anything.

REWATCH VALUE:
No way. That would just be considerably difficult, and tissues are in short supply in my area of the country.

OVERALL:
This is a good show. It’s a sad show at times, but the writing, the plot, the dialogue are insightful, smart, and quite lovely. So watch it, but please….only if you have tissues on hand.

Lire davantage

This drama was the best K drama I have viewed in the past 5 years.   It had entertainment value but more importantly, its value was its vicarious desire for the viewer to reevaluate the life and decisions of each character presented throughout.  When you have lived a long time -- and if you have been married or consider getting married this drama is love 101 or a refresher course.   It was fun for me to watch with my husband of 28 years who was also a cat owner (multiple cats).  I've never understood his personality but watching this drama made me reflect a lot about life.  The balance of the 3 couples, the parents, and the additional character s - ex-boyfriends, girlfriends, potential liaisons, and expectations were weaved into the story in an organized way with resolutions and no loose ends.  The ending was perfect.  What I enjoyed along the way was the music -- it really was suited to the scenes and had added dramatic effect.  I have already some of the episodes twice.   A very good drama and one that is worth the time viewing.

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This is awesome drama. The story is good. There's many life lessons regarding relationship. The main leads are superb.  Min Ki acting as a cold person was great. He portrayed SeHee in amazing way. Cold SeHee to warm and reluctant SeHee, I found it's really cute. How SeHee became a cry baby in the end because JiHo left him.
Seriously, Minki acting's so great. JiHo's character is also great. She's not typical female lead in korean drama who too strong or too weak. I found her character was so fit, not too strong and not too weak. Sometimes she's strong but in other time she's weak. Her character was so natural. I also like CEO Ma. He's a good friend for SeHee and also good partner for SooJi. Not really like SooJi's character in the beginning, but in the end I like her. I don't really like the other couple HoRang and WonSeok. I found the last couple was too much. HoRang's love was too much unnatural. Not really like that character. Also I found Wonseok was lil bit annoying.
But overall, I found that this drama was so amazing with great casts. It worth to watch it.

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I love this drama so much!

Honestly, I loved this drama so much!
I loved to watch all the characters develop and growing up, even when thery are in their 30's they still have a lot to learn about the world and themselves!
In the beginning I really liked this drama because it made me laugh. The male lead seemed a little strange to me at first (and I loved it) + he has an adorable cat, which I also loved a lot!!
The drama got more real and emotional through every episode and I loved how they showed the charechters stories in the show.
What really emerged me to keep watching this drama was the male lead tho, since I feel like he is the one with the most development. Spolier: To see how he grew from not wanting to love anyone, and only loving his cat, to watch him choosing her over picking the cat up, to then watch him go all in with his love. To see how he showed more and more emotions throughout the drama and punch and cry over her in the end: Truly beautiful.

I will say that I found the drama kind of toxic for some moments though... Mostly in the main couple, especially when she leaves him, all though I kinda get why she did it... But still... kinda toxic.
Another thing is that I don't get why the couple of 7 years ended up getting back together, I feel like the only thing she did was whine about him all the time and he was the only one who needed to make changes and sacrifices. But everyone to their own taste I guess...

In the end, I really ended up liking this drama a lot more than I expected and I will probraly watch it again sometime <3

Lire davantage

Best Korean Drama to Date

Everything about this show is so good.

if you like more understated shows that have strong character development, as well as no random drama just for the sake of drama or filler, this is it. it's gentle with some really cute, funny moments while also having substance.

this is one of the only shows in which, when characters have conflict, the outcome actually makes sense. their actions and motivations make sense. nothing is done for the sake of "dramas gotta drama."

the leads work really well together, and the way the show ends is just perfect. they have really interesting and unique chemistry.

I rewatch this show every couple of months to make life make sense and restore faith in love, relationships, and the future.

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Real characters, real issues, real pacing problems.

This drama was a bit off the beaten track in that it dares explore a lot of current Korean social issues and does not sugar coat things, so it makes it different than most romantic dramas. The 2 main leads start as Landlord and Tenant after mistakenly assuming each other's gender due to their names (she thinks he's a girl and he thinks she is a man). As she is a great tenant, one thing leads to another and they end up in a contract marriage of convenience, which while abhorrent to those who believe in love, actually is a good foundation to start any relationship since once you live with someone and know what type of person they are, compatibility then becomes companionship that eventually leads to love? This is not far fetched at all, in fact, many people kind of do this without the explicit contract.

The second couple has a different issue. The man wants to make it big as an app developer. His girlfriend just wants to get married as she has kind of based her entire identity as a person on getting married to a certain type of man. Her insecurity and his reluctance to give up on his dream are explored fully. They've dated for 7 years but still no proposal. Recipe for disaster. If you think about this, and why she's so weak and insecure, you'll probably realize you know many women who are in the same situation. Of course, you've also advised them to leave the guy. Truth is, men will eventually decide they are ready for marriage, and whichever girl they are with at that time is the lucky one (look at Prince Harry). If the girl lets go of him before then, she loses out. It's a terrible social dilemma for the woman as her "value" as a girl friend or wife diminishes the longer the clock keeps ticking. Just. Terrible.

The final couple has an ambitious girl with a disabled mother, and probably the nicest guy of the bunch. She faces all kinds of sexism at the workplace, that kind of stuff has happened to me in real life. There is honestly no way to beat that system - employing legal means still leaves a woman's reputation in tatters even IF she wins. To say I was triggered would be an understatement. I loved this couple the most. So, all the characters, stories and soundtrack are good.

Where this fails miserably is the pacing. It is slow as heck, and there's many flashback done for stylistic purposes that just messes up the plot. I swear, if the main lead actress could only speak faster and not sound like she. puts. a. period. after. every. word. like. thus. the show would only be 12 episodes instead of 16 and I would have rated this a 9.5 instead of a 8, I was being generous and awarded 2 stars just for "our" kitty the beautiful Ragdoll plus the main lead's brilliant portrayal of being drunk.

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Jung Somin carried, show lacked character development

It's worth the watch if you like slice of life. I loved Jung Somin's acting a lot. She's such a gem. Her natural acting was perfect for this role. The side actors & actresses were A+ as well. If you like shows that focus on side characters, you'll probably like this too.

My biggest takeaways were the dialogues. The writer did a great job with the poems and stories they included. I can guarantee they will give you a new perspective to life. My favorite one was about when a new person enters your life.

But I've got to say, it wasn't as good as people made it seem. The plot was nothing special and neither was Lee Minki's acting. I wasn't impressed by him at all. Sehee (his character) is robotic and seemingly emotionless. He eventually falls for Jiho, but my biggest complaint is they didn't show HOW Sehee falls in love with her. He suddenly started thinking about her and liking her. I wish the show put more effort into his character development.

The character development with the side characters was a little more promising. Jiho's and Sehee's friends start dating too but they're complete opposites. I can see how they fell in love, but still - I wish there were more scenes showing how it happened.

My favorite character was Jiho's mom played by Kim Sunyoung. Jiho's mom has first hand experience living in a patriarchal household. She made sure Jiho wouldn't suffer the same way she did. KSY did a fantastic job of showing a mother's sacrifice and love for her daughter. I only cried once during the show and it was while watching one of her scenes (with the album).

The ending (the most important part for me!) was completely rushed. I was disappointed because the side plots were introduced carefully in the beginning but there wasn't great closure for them. The show did a good job of showing how marriage isn't as easy as it looks, but in the end, everyone got married to each other?! I'm sure they could've done a better job because the plot was slow at times, so there was definitely opportunity to build out important parts of the show better.

I probably shouldn't have given this show such a high rating, but I liked Jung Somin's acting THAT much lol.

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because this is my first life: Sexism, misogyny, and discrimination against women in the workplace

After completing BTIMFL for the second time, I became aware of the reoccurring theme of the treatment of women, especially within the workplace.

The opening scene features a narration of the FL (Ji Ho, played by Jung So Min) explaining how she grew up in a patriarchal household, where she was pretty much ignored and disregarded. Her freedom never came to her until she was much older. In fact, her father only really shows an interest in her when she says she is getting married.

The FL has to go through various situations in which she is treated horribly by her male coworker, which leads to her other coworkers defending him and supporting him, rather than siding with the FL, the victim. This causes her to quit once she realises that they would have just continued to use her and discredit her. She has no voice within her workplace simply due to the fact that she is a woman.

The 2nd FL (Soo Ji), played by Esom, also has to experience similar discrimination with her being a female, along with the fact that she has a stigma around her for her personal choice to be sex-positive and not committed to relationships. The judgment she faces is addressed in a conversation with her romantic partner, in which she explains the hypocrisy of being a woman and the double-edged sword that is constantly pointed at her regardless of the choices she makes.

We also see their mothers who have sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of their daughters, and in turn, their daughters who have been able to have a better life. The FLs are able to realise how much their mothers have done for them, thus making them closer with them as they are able to appreciate them.

Admittedly, the other FL, Ho Rang (played by Kim Ga Eun, was quite annoying during my first watch due to some of her selfish choices. However, upon my rewatch, I can notice and understand her and her actions. To her, the traditional route of becoming a housewife is what she desires. In a scene after a school reunion, we see how she feels less than her school peers who are married with children. Struggling to get by with little money, she aspires to get married and settle down in order to not feel so inferior. Her pride holds onto the idea of one day being able to settle down, and constantly boasts about her long-time boyfriend, yet struggles to be upfront with him and tell him what she wants from their relationship. Hence why some of her decisions come across as selfish and ignorant. Additionally, there are a few scenes in which both she and a coworker are criticised by a male superior, further perpetuating the idea that she is less than and worthless even.

These characters all display how the patriarchy invites hypocrisy and condescending behaviour due to the choices made by women. Whilst these characters are able to be happy in the end, the sexism they face continues. Despite the 20th and 21st centuries showing the change with laws, enabling women to have a bigger presence within the public sphere, attitudes towards women remain the same from a macro perspective. BTIMFL is a great example of this, which is why I highly recommend this drama. The actors all showcase their characters uniquely, showing the different sides to adulthood, the workplace, and romance.

11 07 21

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Highly enjoyable (despite the unbelievable premise)

Out of all the "fake relationship" dramas out there (granted, I have only seen a few), this one had the most justifiable premise -- which still does not mean that it was entirely believable :) All the same, it was interesting to see how the show tried to balance the comedic and the truly dramatic components.
On the positive side:
* The leads, for once, are more fleshed out and interesting than the supporting characters! Maybe it's because they are not cast to be "the most beautiful" or "the most interesting" (both lead actors are very attractive, obviously, but they play the parts of ordinary people). The supporting characters have their own story arcs, but are definitely much more one-dimensional and somewhat caricaturish.
* The story flows relatively well and the events make sense (until the last episode or two, at least).
The negatives:
* That last, artificial, incomprehensible dramatic turn -- why? what for? (I refer to the "Mongolia trip" for those initiated to the series.) It made no sense. I wondered if it was a translation issue, and that maybe I missed something, but I watched those episodes with two different sets of translations, and it still made no sense...
* The show kept coming up with, and changing, the "leading theme" (or, to put it differently, the aphorism it was trying to explore; the zeitgeist it was trying to tap into; etc.): First it was the patriarchy; at some point it was finding the special small moments to be happy with things; then it was something weird about being unconventional... I think the overall trajectory of the show would have been more enjoyable and less jarring if the writers had picked one leading thought and stuck with it.

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THEEEE BESSTT

Honestly, Because This Is My First Life is such a gem! It doesn’t follow the typical K-drama formula—it’s actually a lot more grounded. The main characters, Se-hee and Ji-ho, aren’t your usual romantic leads. They’re just real people dealing with real issues, from career struggles to the weird pressures society puts on marriage and success. Their relationship starts as a convenience, this quirky contract marriage to solve each other’s problems, but it grows in the most genuine way.

What I love is how it handles these little moments. It's not just about the romance, though that’s there too—it’s about the little life decisions and figuring out what really matters. And the side characters? They each have their own story arcs that bring so much depth to the show. You feel like you’re getting a full picture of what adulthood is for different types of people. It’s sweet, it’s introspective, and, honestly, it’s just so satisfying to watch.

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